Island Jam

When I first thought about moving to this Island, I imagined myself riding a bike or scooter along meandering paths into town, to work, the store, the beach. It would be the best way to get around. This is what I thought. The men that hired me laughed and cringed when I told them my preferred mode of transportation. "A bike, are you crazy? Even if you were the best cyclist in the world, I wouldn't recommend riding around on St Thomas, fastest way to get yourself killed."

The lay of the land:

The roads, when they are paved, are rough and steep with rarely a guard rail protecting you from the cliff on one side and the mountain on the other. You drive on the left here, even though the cars are from the states. One benefit of this is you have a great view of how close you can get to the edge of the road, when another car is sprawled out and approaching fast. I have seen some bad accidents since I have arrived. Driving here is similar to navigating an obstacle course. The locals use the term "island handshake" for the inevitable occurrence of side view mirrors smashing together as cars whiz by each other. I have come close several times to experiencing the island handshake and lately I have left my passenger side mirror rotated in.

Road Rules:

1. Driving while using your phone and you will get pulled over by the police or in my opinion, you will have an accident. 2. Driving without a seatbelt and you will get pulled over. That's a no-brainer. 3. If you are out at a restaurant or bar and you have been drinking and you have not finished your drink, you can grab a convenient plastic to go cup by the door and take it with you. Drinking and driving is totally acceptable here. I'm sorry, what? This makes no sense to me. Of course, if you cause an accident and you are over the legal alcohol limit, you will get a DUI. But if you are just driving drunk and STILL drinking while you are driving drunk, this is totally fine. This takes the obstacle course to a whole new level. Now, some people have said that because the roads are so winding and steep that you really can't go that fast. "How much damage can be done going 25mph while intoxicated?" Well, I don't have a radar gun but I am sure people are driving faster than 25mph. I would say the average speed is around 40mph, which is still on the slow side of the speedometer. But any moving vehicle, no matter the speed, can do damage if used while being stupid. And if that is not enough, I have met some crazy fools that brag about getting their car or better yet, their motorcycle, up to 120mph here. No good can come of that. Yet another reason why Hull Bay is so appealing to me. It's off the beaten path. It's made of old school locals, families and surfers. People who are too cautious, too mellow or too stoned to drive like maniacs.

My work commute usually takes about 12 minutes, hardly long enough to get my NPR fill. On the way into town, over the crest and down the main road, there is always a delay. A line of cars creeping slowly along, the island traffic jam. This isn't because of congestion or overpopulation. It is because of a woman named Lamencia. Every day she stands on the side of the main road and sells newspapers to the commuters. I have even seen her out there in a torrential downpour, newspapers piled in trash bags and Lamencia in a plastic suit. There is no horn honking while we wait in line, just another example of “island time” and the relaxed nature of the people here. Every morning we say hello as I slowly drive by. I would buy a newspaper from her but I am really trying to cut back on my paper consumption. Recycling has yet to be introduced to this island.