Making Lemonade

Just about one month ago I joined the masses of unemployed Americans. The story of what happened that led to my exit is not something I need to go into right now. It’s a long and whiny tale of men behaving badly in the work place. And it is not the first time I had to deal with that type of situation but it is the first time that I decided not to put up with it, with no Plan B in place of what I was to do next. A little scary, to take that step but also very freeing. I have always had a job, through school and all of my adulthood. If I were in New York right now and in the same situation, my anxiety would be on high alert. But I am on a tropical island, living a pretty simple life these days and mostly content with doing nothing. I am getting in touch with my inner beach bum. It is strange to have nowhere to go each day, no clocking in at work, waking up early, hurrying around between work hours to get everything else done. The 15 minute breakfast on my porch has turned into a lingering peaceful meditation, as I gaze out over the ocean and contemplate the waves.

It has been an enjoyable study for me, the art of doing nothing. It has also been a struggle to just relax into it. My thoughts can’t help but return to the job question. What the fuck am I going to do? What the hell do I want to do? Do I stay and take a job with another company? Do I go back to the states and work in or near an urban environment in a service center? Another question is, and I was surprised by this one, do I walk away from watchmaking and do something completely different? I have banked about 15 years in this industry, endless training with multiple brands and some amazing experiences along the way. I have always been passionate about watchmaking. I love the mechanics of it and working with my hands. The quiet hours of contemplating miniature puzzles and solving them has always been satisfying. It is everything else around it that has me feeling disillusioned. The luxury goods industry is all numbers, profit margins and efficiency graphs. The artist inside me cringes at this. Unfortunately, being a watchmaker these days and needing a job to survive means having to be a cog in that wheel. But I don’t have to be, if I choose to do something else. There is the option of trading in my tweezers and screwdrivers for wooden spoons and marble slabs, if I join my sister’s chocolate empire. Making chocolate is an art form and I do have an eye for detail. And there is something very appealing about working as a partner with my sister.

It is clear that I still have no idea what I am going to do. I think I am still reeling from the fact that I had to leave a job that was supposed to be a dream come true. I know the future is spread out in front of me with roads heading off in every direction. I just need to decide if I stay my course, change direction or ditch the roads for uncharted territory. Part of me keeps thinking that I will wake up one morning and the answer will be right there. In the mean time, I feel very fortunate to have time to consider my options and enjoy a much needed break after years of work. The lemon in my life makes a mighty fine lemonade.